Triolet

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Catherine Edmunds
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Triolet

Postby Catherine Edmunds » Sat May 27, 2006 10:40 am

I'm a big fan of some of the more formal schemes for writing poetry, so thought I'd do an occasional posting to demonstrate these and give a brief explanation of how to write them.

The Triolet is quick and easy. You just need two rhymes, and plenty of repetition. Most triolets I've seen appear to be in either iambic pentameter or iambic tetrameter. I've chosen the latter.

This is the scheme for rhymes and repetitions:

A
B
a - Rhymes with 1st line
A
a - Rhymes with 1st line
b - Rhymes with 2nd line
A
B


And in case that didn't make much sense, here's one I wrote earlier...


Sweet endurance

He stretches, twists, towards the sky
unwinds his length, then grips and holds.
His season's short, explaining why
he stretches, twists, towards the sky
as weather's fury passes by.
Then as each fragrant bloom unfolds
he stretches, twists, towards the sky
unwinds his length, then grips and holds.

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Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Postby Louis P. Burns aka Lugh » Sat May 27, 2006 10:55 am

Nice one Delph :D. Thanks for sharing some of your knowledge and skill mate...

I have to be honest and say I learned a lot through interacting with you and Mike D on that former writer's community (Lugh spits) and had it not been for the thug / thugs running it, we all would have gladly continued to learn from one another...

Hopefully you will pass on more wisdom on the artform of writing poetry to us all Delph. That would be brilliant, but only if you're up for it...

Cheers :) ...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.

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Postby Louis P. Burns aka Lugh » Sun May 28, 2006 3:41 pm

Hi Delph :)

Is this reworked piece by me, Triolet?

Dream Lover...
By Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
    Sweet jasmine essence fills our space
    with blue, soft spoken, smoke curls.
    I dream I feel your fingers trace
    up my length then us in deep space.
    Awake. Heartbroken; 'oh, this place'.
    I breathe your name into my world's.
    The Joss stick's jasmine fills my space
    with blue, softly spoken, smoke curls...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.

ASIN B00L1RS0UI

My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:

Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225


Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.

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Catherine Edmunds
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Posts: 428
Joined: Fri May 05, 2006 8:05 pm
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Postby Catherine Edmunds » Sun May 28, 2006 5:03 pm

Lovely sensuous poem, Lugh, but not quite a triolet, because you haven't done the required repetition. In the scheme I wrote out, all lines marked "A" (or "B")are literally the same line - they don't just rhyme. So to make your poem into a triolet, it would have to be butchered like this:

Sweet jasmine essence fills our space
with blue, soft spoken, smoke curls.
I dream I feel your fingers trace
sweet jasmine essence fills our space.
Awake. Heartbroken; 'oh, this place'.
I breathe your name into my worlds.
Sweet jasmine essence fills our space
with blue, soft spoken, smoke curls...


I'd probably have used 'smokey' rather than just 'smoke', to keep the rhythm going. In your original last line, you had 'softly' instead of 'soft', but although that gives you the right syllable count, it upsets the rhythm. Some people would applaud you for this, liking the transposition of iamb and trochee to add interest, but I think in such a short poem it's nice to remain iambic throughout. :)

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Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Postby Louis P. Burns aka Lugh » Sun May 28, 2006 6:15 pm

delph_ambi wrote:Lovely sensuous poem, Lugh, but not quite a triolet, because you haven't done the required repetition. In the scheme I wrote out, all lines marked "A" (or "B")are literally the same line - they don't just rhyme. So to make your poem into a triolet, it would have to be butchered like this:

Sweet jasmine essence fills our space
with blue, soft spoken, smoke curls.
I dream I feel your fingers trace
sweet jasmine essence fills our space.
Awake. Heartbroken; 'oh, this place'.
I breathe your name into my worlds.
Sweet jasmine essence fills our space
with blue, soft spoken, smoke curls...


I'd probably have used 'smokey' rather than just 'smoke', to keep the rhythm going. In your original last line, you had 'softly' instead of 'soft', but although that gives you the right syllable count, it upsets the rhythm. Some people would applaud you for this, liking the transposition of iamb and trochee to add interest, but I think in such a short poem it's nice to remain iambic throughout. :)


Cheers Delph :)

I will work further on it this week...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.

ASIN B00L1RS0UI

My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:

Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225


Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.


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