SENSITIZE ©

Everyone can write limericks. Theoretically. Then you look at the rules, and think, "eek!" But they do need to be followed for this form to work.

The rhyme scheme is simple. AABBA. The first A can even be the identical rhyme to the last A (Edward Lear does this a lot) though that always feels like cheating.

The rhythm's a bit more complex. (takes a deep breath...)

The beat is anapestic (weak, weak, strong) with three feet in lines 1, 2 and 5; and two feet in lines 3 and 4. There are exceptions. The first foot of any line may have only one weak beat in front of the stong beat, and trailing weak beats are allowed at the end of each line.
Thus, lines 1, 2 and 5 are (where the bracketed beats are the optional extras):
w (w) S w w S w w S (w) (w)
and lines 3 and 4 are:
w (w) S w w S (w) (w)

If I go into any more detail, this starts getting pedantic. There are plenty of sites that will explain further.

Now, I normally post an example of my own writing at this point. I tried writing a topical limerick, but it all started looking slightly defamatory, so I deleted it. That's the problem with limericks. Easy to get carried away. If you do a quick google you'll find a whole load of really rude ones too... Instead, here's a classic by (I hope this attribution is correct) Arthur Butler, first published in 'Punch', 19th December 1923.

There was a young lady called Bright
Who could travel much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

The Vampires, Bo 'n' Mo
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh © 2006

• an aging gay vampire called maurice
  swiftly flew over lakes, homes and forests
  he swooped from the night
  and to his delight
  bit the neck of a young man called boris

Sorry Delph. It was late lastnight when I wrote that vampire limerick. I realise now that the rythym is out on the first, second and last lines. Will try and fix it later today, but I am chuffed to bits that it's mostly completed. Laughed my head off while writing it...

Thanks for the guidance on writing limericks

Great limerick, but yes, you're right, the rhythm's not quite there. Shows how flippin' hard it is to write these.

Your first line's fine. Remember, in the scheme I showed, the bracketed beats are optional, so you're okay, so long as you can make the second and last lines follow the same scheme.

an aging gay vampire called maurice
flew fast over lakes, homes and forests

works, for example.

Your middle two lines are almost right. An extra syllable in the second would make them match more neatly, eg:

he swooped from the night
and then to his delight

Last line's hilarious but more problematic. It fits one of the possible rhythm schemes, but doesn't match the first two lines as it stands. I'll have to think about this one...

...okay, I've thunk, and my gut instinct is to leave it exactly as it is. One can get too pedantic about these things...

Nice one, Lugh

The Vampires, Bo 'n' Mo
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh © 2006
Edited by Catherine Edmunds

• an aging gay vampire called maurice
  flew fast over lakes, homes and forests
  he swooped from the night
  and then to his delight
  bit the neck of a young man called boris

Cheers Delph

Lugh

My pleasure.

Mind you, I haven't a clue why I suggested adding 'then' to the fourth line. Doesn't need it... hmm...

Works without or with. Depends entirely on how you read it.

Lol. This morning I sent a copy to one of my gay pals. He phoned me and laughed everytime he read it back to me. He also asked if he could share it with others.

So, how cool is that ?

I agree that 'then' could be left in or removed. Let's just leave it for now eh?

Right. Your turn to write one lol. I've ended up with a Limerick accent ...

Okay, continuing the theme...

A lesbian vampire named Kay
Returned to her coffin one day
Awaiting her there
Was a sweetie called Claire
Who giggled and smirked like Fay Wray

Now Kay was amazed at her luck
It seemed she would have a good… oops. Sorry about this. Better stop.

hahahahahha

Excellent

Hahaha

Now I know what you two get up to in your spare time.

What about the vampires that are not sure of their sexuality?

Jox

jo wrote:Hahaha

Now I know what you two get up to in your spare time.

What about the vampires that are not sure of their sexuality?

Jox

Vampires are always certain of their sexuality. It's werewolves that haven't got a clue...

Cuh. Dear oh... I thought you'd have known that Jo ...

Now, go write 100 times:-

'Vampires are totally sussed sexually. It's werewolves who'll bite anyone'...

In your best handwriting ...

One of my favourite limericks:-

there was a woman in Vancouver
who had an affair with a hoover
instead of a ....
it gave her a suck
and took her six weeks to recover

Can I just add? For me, don't know if it's the case for everyone else, but... I find limerick writing easiest when I've written the last line first.

Try that folks. Write the last line first then build up to it. That's the art of 'comedy' as well...

True story

Lugh wrote:for an expendable president
By Louis P. Burns aka Lugh © 31st July, 2006. All Rights Reserved

• if President George Bush was shot dead.
  or knifed in the street by a crack-head.
  would anyone care?
  would they blink, would they stare?
  or loudly laugh as the sick bastard bled?

hahahhahahahahaha

Channel 4 have it sorted ... Click the blue font above...

hyperlink in this message is to;-
Mirror.co.uk - copyright:-
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objecti ... _page.html