The Uncollected refuse of Dave (the Space Cadet) Osborne ©

[spacecadet]

STINGRAYED

The Crocodile hunter,
now he's gone.
Steve Irwin nil,
the Stingray one.
What an ironic
way to go.
Killed by a sixties
Puppet show.


(cw me etc)

[Louis P. Burns aka Lugh]

hahahahahha

If anyone summoned death it was him...

Superb and timely poetic comedy Dave ...

[spacecadet]

It was all being taped by a sound man apparantly. The last piece of tape went "See this Stingray? He loks like he's sleeping. Only a total moron would go anywhere near one of these fella's as they'll gut you with their poison stings. Now look what happens when I shove this stick up it's arse."

[spacecadet]

You've probably read this one elsewhere but......

Street Poets


I sidled by the hawker
in the middle of the street.
“Take this book of poetry,
it’s really rather sweet.”
I tried to push the book away
but he was quicker on his feet.
I wondered if I could escape
and still remain discrete.

He forced the book into my hand
and asked for £3.10.
Then I saw it’s selling points
and paid him, there and then.
For the book was of soft paper
and the pages perforated.
It’s a cracking toilet read
when I get constipated.

[Salvador Oria]

Steve Irwin nil,
the Stingray one.

You're merciless with the poor ole wagging croc's handler (he bleeding forgot why stingrays are called as they are and hugged one from above as if it were his lover...)

[spacecadet]

I wrote this one a few years ago. i thought the subject matter would have made it ephemeral in nature but I think it's still valid......

I think I called it "The King" due to lack of inspiration.


The King of Blood and his jesters three
Were talking in the palace.
“What think you, knaves, of this land of mine”
he said with tone of malice.

The first jester, the Prince of War,
said “You bring freedom to the slaves,
and the grandest of achievments
is them digging their own graves”

The second jester, the Prince of Lies,
arrived fresh from the house of ten,
said “The wonder is that all the slaves
will vote you in again”.

The third jester, the Prince of Thieves,
had even more to say.
“The wonder is that our big fat purse
gets fatter every day”.

The King smiled and looked down on his state
And saw the land around
“But should these slaves wake up one day......”
That thought did bring a frown.

“They may look around and see the lie
that democracy has built.
For their freedom is quite worthless
when they’re mortgaged to the hilt”.

“We shall distract them from their servitude”
said the jester Prince of War.
“We’ll plough another land with salt
and burn it to the core”.

The jester Prince of Thieves looks on,
within his mind he delves.
“The beauty of this war would be
to make them pay for it themselves”.

So the Armies of the King were sent
to the cradle of the world of old,
And the desert was painted red with blood
For an ocean of black gold.

ãDave Osborne 2004.

[Louis P. Burns aka Lugh]

Pure genius Mr. O.

Pure genius ...

"Truth forever on the scaffold, wrong forever on the throne."

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