Weed Poetry Anyone?

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Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Postby Louis P. Burns aka Lugh » Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:46 pm

delph_ambi wrote:Cheers, Lugh. Yep -- it's definitely lyrics, not a poem.

Up tempo too Delph.

da da dada da da da
da dada da da da
dada dada da da
dada da da dada da

Jangly guitar
Loose jazz percussion
Double bass
Deep male voice (could work)
Lead guitar solo mid way

Gospel / R&B crossover style

Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison would be a close contender to what I'm thinking...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.

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Salvador Oria
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Weed's TCP (unfinished, unpolished first draft 2Nov06)

Postby Salvador Oria » Thu Nov 02, 2006 7:01 pm

If you don't mind, I'll squeeze this one in whilst delph, the scissors witch, is not around.... forgive me

The headache was killing me,
this migraine as docs call it
has been a sombre shadow
cast upon me through genetics
since I was very young.
Oh, yes my grandma had it
and before her, her own.
I was told by the physicians
that migraines jump generations
shite, I thought, shite
and it had to land in mine?

Then I walked to the doc's house
the so-called National Health.
Have you, by chance, ever felt
that you are a laboratory mouse?
When the man in white apron comes
and says 'now we'll try TCP, it seems
it works. Come here, raise your sleeve'
to pull a trigger in you mind
shooting in it a clearcut response:
it is not we, nor him, its me!

© 2006 Salvador Oria aka Argie
"...my dreams were all my own; i accounted for them to nobody; they
were my refuge when annoyed - my dearest pleasure when free."
mary shelley in her author's introduction to "frankestein", 1831.

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Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Postby Louis P. Burns aka Lugh » Thu Nov 02, 2006 8:47 pm

Hi Argie,

Thanks for posting, although I'm a bit confused. How is this poem related to marijuana?

Cheers...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.

ASIN B00L1RS0UI

My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:

Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225


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Catherine Edmunds
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Postby Catherine Edmunds » Tue Nov 07, 2006 5:50 pm

Good question. I suspect because doctors will offer you all sorts of inappropriate medication for a migraine (eg, TCP) when actually all you need is an appropriate smoke...

Here's one I've just penned. It's rough and ready, so critique appreciated to help me knock it into shape.

No title as yet.

'just building a spliff' he said
and he turned away briefly
deft fingers knowing their way

he was back in seconds
to chat breathe relax
be himself once again
without the pain of his spine leg hip shoulders mind
free to be with me just for a while
to smile, have a laugh, tell me tales
about cats neighbours gangsters glasgow
carstairs carruthers and knitting
a scarf
for a sheep

'just building a spliff'
he said one last time
when the pain
returned

now it's gone
so sleep
rest in peace
dearest friend

(for JDS)

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Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Postby Louis P. Burns aka Lugh » Tue Nov 07, 2006 6:12 pm

Well, you've asked for honest critique, so here goes.

It's fabulous Delph. No changes are necessary. I had ease reading this first time off and found no stumbling blocks or rythyms that needed tapped out. It flows magnificently and would lend itself well to performance by an actor / actress with access to a good microphone and preferably a minidisc recorder with USB and conversion to mp3 software.

True to a lot of your work, it also captures imagery like a high-end digital photo or short film. There are ambiences and shifts of light a-plenty at work in this poem.

Again, although at a technical level a tad difficult, this could be scripted to screenplay. I for one am/was there, a silent or off-screen witness. I felt his pain relieved with the spliffs. I know this feeling. I felt time lapsing between smokes and as a result felt the atmosphere and the friendship between you both...

Suggesting a name for this work might be quite a novel way of popularising it as well. May I suggest something like; 'Just A Spliff' or Healing Herbs? Obvious ones I know, but for me, they fit...

Nice one Delph. This would definitely work well with the Healing Herbs film. I would be honoured if you let us include it mate.

As for Argie's poem. I think perhaps he meant THC instead of TCP... Easy error to make considering English isn't his native tongue.

Cheers :) ...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.

ASIN B00L1RS0UI

My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:

Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225


Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.


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