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Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:46 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
delph_ambi wrote:Cheers, Lugh. Yep -- it's definitely lyrics, not a poem.
Up tempo too Delph.

da da dada da da da
da dada da da da
dada dada da da
dada da da dada da

Jangly guitar
Loose jazz percussion
Double bass
Deep male voice (could work)
Lead guitar solo mid way

Gospel / R&B crossover style

Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison would be a close contender to what I'm thinking...

Weed's TCP (unfinished, unpolished first draft 2Nov06)

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 7:01 pm
by Salvador Oria
If you don't mind, I'll squeeze this one in whilst delph, the scissors witch, is not around.... forgive me

The headache was killing me,
this migraine as docs call it
has been a sombre shadow
cast upon me through genetics
since I was very young.
Oh, yes my grandma had it
and before her, her own.
I was told by the physicians
that migraines jump generations
shite, I thought, shite
and it had to land in mine?

Then I walked to the doc's house
the so-called National Health.
Have you, by chance, ever felt
that you are a laboratory mouse?
When the man in white apron comes
and says 'now we'll try TCP, it seems
it works. Come here, raise your sleeve'
to pull a trigger in you mind
shooting in it a clearcut response:
it is not we, nor him, its me!

© 2006 Salvador Oria aka Argie

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 8:47 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Hi Argie,

Thanks for posting, although I'm a bit confused. How is this poem related to marijuana?

Cheers...

Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 5:50 pm
by Catherine Edmunds
Good question. I suspect because doctors will offer you all sorts of inappropriate medication for a migraine (eg, TCP) when actually all you need is an appropriate smoke...

Here's one I've just penned. It's rough and ready, so critique appreciated to help me knock it into shape.

No title as yet.

'just building a spliff' he said
and he turned away briefly
deft fingers knowing their way

he was back in seconds
to chat breathe relax
be himself once again
without the pain of his spine leg hip shoulders mind
free to be with me just for a while
to smile, have a laugh, tell me tales
about cats neighbours gangsters glasgow
carstairs carruthers and knitting
a scarf
for a sheep

'just building a spliff'
he said one last time
when the pain
returned

now it's gone
so sleep
rest in peace
dearest friend

(for JDS)

Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 6:12 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Well, you've asked for honest critique, so here goes.

It's fabulous Delph. No changes are necessary. I had ease reading this first time off and found no stumbling blocks or rythyms that needed tapped out. It flows magnificently and would lend itself well to performance by an actor / actress with access to a good microphone and preferably a minidisc recorder with USB and conversion to mp3 software.

True to a lot of your work, it also captures imagery like a high-end digital photo or short film. There are ambiences and shifts of light a-plenty at work in this poem.

Again, although at a technical level a tad difficult, this could be scripted to screenplay. I for one am/was there, a silent or off-screen witness. I felt his pain relieved with the spliffs. I know this feeling. I felt time lapsing between smokes and as a result felt the atmosphere and the friendship between you both...

Suggesting a name for this work might be quite a novel way of popularising it as well. May I suggest something like; 'Just A Spliff' or Healing Herbs? Obvious ones I know, but for me, they fit...

Nice one Delph. This would definitely work well with the Healing Herbs film. I would be honoured if you let us include it mate.

As for Argie's poem. I think perhaps he meant THC instead of TCP... Easy error to make considering English isn't his native tongue.

Cheers :) ...

Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 11:51 pm
by Catherine Edmunds
Thanks, Lugh :)

And thanks for the title suggestions. I'd like to take up your suggestion of 'healing herbs' for the title if I may. Works perfectly.

I think this one came over so visually because I was seeing it as I wrote it and it was a true account with nothing fictionalised at all. That's one reason why I would never want it filmed. Too personal. However, I am very happy for you to use the words in your 'Healing Herbs' project. That would be eminently appropriate.

Cheers,

Cathy

Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 1:29 am
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Message for delph_ambi

Hi delph.

As you may know the Healing Herbs production end of the e-zine is complete and I would be grateful to you if you could confirm that it is ok for me to carry the above piece over to those pages please?

Thanks :) ...

Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 1:39 am
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Message for Iccy and other writers working on Sensitize ©

Hi Iccy...

Do you have any poems, thoughts or writing on the theme of cannabis as a pain relieving and naturally occuring healing herb? Or even anarchic rants confronting the classification of cannabis as a (drug?). If you do, I would really appreciate it if you submitted your poetry (on this theme) to this thread. Any rants, thoughts or words to general messages?

Please clearly mark them as submissions for the Sensitize © Healing Herbs pages of our e-zine.

Thanks in advance :) ...

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 8:20 am
by Catherine Edmunds
Re: your request two posts up for confirmation of the availability of my poem five posts (or however many it is) up. Yes, confirmed. I've been meticulous in making sure that anything I've offered to you for the ezine has been kept away from any other publications, so it's all available, and will remain so, as previously agreed.

delph

Response to Catherine Edmunds about her cannabis poem...

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 2:17 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
delph_ambi wrote:Re: your request two posts up for confirmation of the availability of my poem five posts (or however many it is) up. Yes, confirmed. I've been meticulous in making sure that anything I've offered to you for the ezine has been kept away from any other publications, so it's all available, and will remain so, as previously agreed.

delph
Thanks Delph :) ...

Your poem for the Healing Herbs production will of course have an embedded link to your space here on Sensitize. At the moment you have nothing uploaded to there but I know you have been off doing other work.

Please feel free to notify your readers of any upcoming publications, competitions, or poems you wish to share through that space Cathy and I wish you continued best wishes with it all.

I'll also link to your wonderful interview for the e-zine which in turn should generate visitors to your space. The link to your space isn't public (yet), but just notify me when you wish the settings switched to public and I'll sort it out...

Here is that link to your space once again:

viewforum.php?f=51

Thanks again my friend :) ...

Re: Weed Poetry Anyone?

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:12 pm
by Salvador Oria
Piping

Small metal pipes
or made from porcelain
hold chemicals
to be heated
by carefully
dropped embers.
Deeply aspired
and then blown
slowly
scenting the air
already perfumed;
one day
other flowers
will be plucked
and dried
to refill the pipes
one other day
next month,
or next year,
for an adventurous flight
or an odyssey
to dream
once again
without fear.

Salvador Oria aka Argie Copyright 2008
(All rights reserved)

Re: Weed Poetry Anyone?

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 11:24 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Great poem Sal :D

slight spelling mistake 'parfumed' should be 'perfumed.' do you want me to copy it over to the healing herbs' pages when you've corrected it dude?

thanks for sharing 8) :mrgreen: ...

Re: Weed Poetry Anyone?

Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 5:00 pm
by Salvador Oria
Correction made and thanks to you BOLD! The probable cause was my normal pronunciation of this word... sorry.
:D

and oh, yes, copy it wherever you want it.

Re: Weed Poetry Anyone?

Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:58 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Salvador Oria wrote:Correction made and thanks to you BOLD!
LOL - I haven't been called BOLD for a while. What a flashback :shock: :mrgreen: Louis = Bold Warrior, which was abbreviated to BOLD while researching for the Healing Herbs film via MSN Cloud 9 (now defunct). It was also my screename on the original Sensitize and a few other MSN groups. I prefer Lugh though. It's the native Irish Gaelic translation of my name and has loads of positive energies for me and hopefully a few more :) ...
Salvador Oria wrote:The probable cause was my normal pronunciation of this word... sorry.
:D
Write on the Sensitize blackboard 100 times: 'I must stop apologising for my words and remember that I am a writer with the freedom (always) to change my world on an instant.'
Salvador Oria wrote:and oh, yes, copy it wherever you want it.
Cheers Sal. Very much appreciated old chap :D ...

I will consult with you throughout the page's design on a trial webpage of the domain and may include photography by myself or other photographers or illustrations by other artists. This will be carried out via email between the artists involved...

Have a great day/evening in sunny Bueno Aires :lol: 8) ...

Slainte mo chára :wink: ...

Re: Weed Poetry Anyone?

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:48 pm
by Salvador Oria
I posted this yesterday, somewhere in here thinking I was standing on the right place but it seems I was not. Then I remembered it was in The Pleasure Dome at Multiply. This should have been the right place, so it goes again...

Shrinking loves.

Seven plants I had in flowerpots,
seven plants I lovingly cared for.
Three show their male attributes,
and four are now my dolls.
(c) 2009 Argie aka Salvador Oria