Three words you never said

[Louis P. Burns aka Lugh]

I won't leave flowers in your grave
to be swept by the wind as your words were
the day you left this world.

Or is it not enough all that I wept
and suffered upon seeing you, lying there,
still selfishly withholding those three words...

(c) 09-2006 Salvador Oria

For my preference, I'd go with the first version. That middle stanza in the second version is implied by the very effective final stanza - so in effect you are merely repeating yourself, at least as I read it.

Both work though.

Mike

I agree with Mike. You don't need that middle stanza. Less is more. The meaning is inferred and the 'explanation' therefore unnecessary.

I would stick with the first version.

I would like to add to what Delph and Mike have said and say that the first version works best for me as well. It is saying everything that needs to be said, and for me appears for now that, that will make it a more memorable work. Only you really know in the end though Sal.

It would be an interesting work to hear read by a performer.