smile for the morning

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Mike Daniels
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smile for the morning

Post by Mike Daniels »

Smile for the morning

I am full of cliché at present,
from the tilt of my runway nose
to the hard skin on my feet
that even the liberal pumice
cannot remove.

I am stuffed with uncertain disposition.
God, that disgraceful plagiarist,
has stolen all my best ideas
and packed me full of dry sand
that leaks away on every thought.

I want to moan about my state
in bristling words, angry faces
forceful moods but they drip
into reclusive and stubborn
melancholia.
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Catherine Edmunds
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Post by Catherine Edmunds »

That second stanza is sheer genius. I love it. What a superb image.

The whole poem's good. You have a way of expressing the subtleties of certain states of mind that I find inspirational because of the way you push the poetic boundaries of how such writing may be accomplished.
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Mike Daniels
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Post by Mike Daniels »

You are over generous with your compliments - and it does me good when the black days are on me. My many thanks.

Mike
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Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Post by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh »

I love it Mike :D ...

For some reason I get the feeling you wrote this in the bath. Dunno where that's coming from but it has a bathroom acoustic / ambience about it for me...

That probably sounds completely daft :oops: ...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.

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Catherine Edmunds
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Post by Catherine Edmunds »

'pumice', Lugh. That's why you thought bathroom. :D
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Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Post by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh »

delph_ambi wrote:'pumice', Lugh. That's why you thought bathroom. :D
Doh..!

You're absolutely right of course Delph... Also, the content of this piece has a pondering nature to it that 'even without the pumice' would work well if performed by an actor in a bath/bathroom flooded with morning light, and perhaps the gentle lapping of water or a tap dripping...

A wonderful work Mike :D ...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.

ASIN B00L1RS0UI

My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:

Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225


Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
the_leander
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Post by the_leander »

Not bad at all! :)

Now, you might be expecting some detailed reason why I think it's not bad, or some form of breakdown of the work...

But this isn't that sort of post, and I really don't know enough about poetry to even attempt it. :D
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Mike Daniels
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Posts: 113
Joined: Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:15 am
Location: The English Queen's Arse, Tongue First 'n' Lovin' It ...
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Post by Mike Daniels »

Hi Lugh - yup, pumice is the trigger - that and the fact I wrote it in the bath...

Hi Alan and thanks. Its enough to know that it worked.

Mike
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