This poem is like high veocity

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Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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Re: Souns better

Postby Louis P. Burns aka Lugh » Fri Apr 14, 2006 5:34 pm

Sergi the snail wrote:Yes Lugh that sounds much better and yes it was translated. rather poorly from Polish

I like you version very much only the line
The garnish revealed something like
'a cannibal's dinner'.

dosent work for me as my line
with potatos garnishing her head
like a cannibals dinner.

the word garnish makes more impact.

This is wonderful though Poets in different toungs helping each others work
I very much like what is haappening


Perhaps over time, this piece will develop even more. Seems to be the nature of art. That would be cool and organic :)
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
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