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Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 8:56 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
jo wrote:I have met only two people in my life who, for reasons I don't understand, are truly religious people. One being a 'Jehovah's witness.

For good or bad, she has my full respect and always will do - even though I think she is misguided in her thinking.

She came knocking at my door in 1994 claiming to bring me 'good news'. At the time I had been discharged from hospital following an unexpected operation which saved my life. I was unable to go out for 13 weeks and was bored shitless and pretty fucked off.
Well, you'd want a bit of good news after all that then. Wouldn't ya..?
jo wrote:I pulled her faith apart (in a polite way) and she took it all on the proverbial chin.
Where's that then?
jo wrote:She came back day after day.
Parasites..! They get in there, at the sick and needy..!
jo wrote:After several weeks she realised that she was never going to change my mind but she still came. I must have really fucked her off at times, even questioning why she thought her God was a male figure, when at the point of conception we all have only female genes.
I'm confused by this point. I choose to believe no gods exist. But, if they did, wouldn't they be all sexes to all humanity?
jo wrote:About five years ago I attended her church at easter, just to let her know that despite our different opinions I respect her and admire her determination. I saw it meant a lot to her.
Yeah, but why..? Could it be she's been totally disempowered by all the psycho-babble that is faith..? Head maybe done it by it..? Perhaps she really was glad to see a friend..?
jo wrote:I was brought up Church of England and sent to a Catholic School. I had to fight most of my way through school because of this (being a ?proddy?dog). I spent two 1/2 years in a convent school and until I found the joy's of being a female I wanted to be a Nun, probably just to be accepted.
I tried to find the joys of being a female but failed and became a Nun. I was never accepted. Mother Superior frequently tugged my beard and pinched my arse..! She made me wear crotchless PVC and licked her lips a lot...
jo wrote:I never questioned how or why people had faith until then. We had years of church members coming to visit our home and I was fed bullshit.
We got corned beef sandwiches...
jo wrote:I do believe that unspent energy remains after death.
Don't say it loudly. George 'n' Tony will tax it and drill us for essential resources..!
jo wrote:If God and Mohammed get married don't bother informing me unless there is gonna be a piss up. :lol:
It's off apparently. Someone said God got blootered on fine scotch and drew a cartoon of Mohammed with his lad out. Mohammed's crowd said this was normal practice for their deity at rehearsal weddings. God's granny smirked and sniggered at Mohammed's lad and the church got burned to the ground. Last I heard Vishnu was knobbin' Allah and God had her first lesbian encounter...

I'll never work religion out... :roll:

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 2:49 pm
by Essexcowgirl
Right then,

very quick note on this Essex girl's view of religeon. It's bollox. If less people spent their time fecking praying and wailing to some invisible diety they hold responsible for every fecking fuck up on earth and spent more time just being good and decent human 'animals' (yep I'm a true believer in the evolutionary theory - we're all just dumb mammals) then there'd be less war, bigotry and television evangalists. Quite honestly just the evangelists buggering off'd be enough for me to denounce religeon.

Fuck it... I'm off to beat the shite out of the local vicar whilst he's practising with the boys choir - religeon my fecking arse!

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 2:58 pm
by joanne chapman
Essexcowgirl wrote:Right then,

very quick note on this Essex girl's view of religeon. It's bollox. If less people spent their time fecking praying and wailing to some invisible diety they hold responsible for every fecking fuck up on earth and spent more time just being good and decent human 'animals' (yep I'm a true believer in the evolutionary theory - we're all just dumb mammals) then there'd be less war, bigotry and television evangalists. Quite honestly just the evangelists buggering off'd be enough for me to denounce religeon.

Fuck it... I'm off to beat the shite out of the local vicar whilst he's practising with the boys choir - religeon my fecking arse!

Is that vicar 'practising with the choir boys(!), or the boys choir'!

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:12 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
I thought this was interesting. At last. Some descention and opposition to the Christian Extreme Right from and within America...

I also had the absolutely wonderful idea of changing the toothpaste tube that's gripped by a hand in the picture of Ted Haggard to a erect penis, and the caption (Ummm... God's Tastes Good) but alas, I'm hopeless with Photoshop...

Check this out:-
Chris Hedges wrote:"What the disparate sects of this movement, known as Dominionism, share is an obsession with political power...Dominionists preach that Jesus has called them to build the kingdom of God in the here and now...America becomes, in this militant biblicism, an agent of God, and all political and intellectual opponents of America's Christian leaders are viewed, quite simply, as agents of Satan. Under Christian dominion, America will no longer be a sinful and fallen nation but one in which the Ten Commandments form the basis of our legal system, Creationism and "Christian values" form the basis of our education system, and the media and the government proclaim the Good News to one and all...the federal government will be reduced to the protection of property rights and "homeland" security. Some Dominionists would further require all citizens to pay "tithes" to church organizations empowered by the government to run our social-welfare agencies, and a number of influential figures advocate the death penalty for a host of "moral crimes", including apostasy, blasphemy, sodomy, and witchcraft. The only legitimate voices in this state will be Christian. All others will be silenced."

Ah yes, democracy the evangelical way. How would this make us any better than the Islamic republics in the Middle East they preach against continually?
Wouldn't it be great if Ted Haggard got shot repeatedly in the forehead and at point blank range..? Fucker reminds me of Patrick Swayze's character in Donnie Darko..! He's the spitting image and calibre of him.

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:17 pm
by joanne chapman
If you do nothing else today, pour yourself some bourbon, take a sit-down and read this article

Sorry, I couldn't read past this sentence.

I must obey....

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:30 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
jo wrote:If you do nothing else today, pour yourself some bourbon, take a sit-down and read this article

Sorry, I couldn't read past this sentence.

I must obey....
ahhahahahahaa...

Neither could I lol... Well, for a bit anyway, then I did. The site is opposed to wankers like Haggard.

I just think it's refreshing that there are voices in America taking a stand against him... Give it a few years and the Christians will have crosses on their back and be seen to say; "Resistence Is Futile" while burning anything non-christian.

Scum. That's what they are... Scum..!

Nothing a load of semtex wouldn't cure though...

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:43 pm
by joanne chapman
Lugh wrote:
jo wrote:If you do nothing else today, pour yourself some bourbon, take a sit-down and read this article

Sorry, I couldn't read past this sentence.

I must obey....
ahhahahahahaa...

Neither could I lol... Well, for a bit anyway, then I did. The site is opposed to wankers like Haggard.

I just think it's refreshing that there are voices in America taking a stand against him... Give it a few years and the Christians will have crosses on their back and be seen to say; "Resistence Is Futile" while burning
anything non-christian.

Scum. That's what they are... Scum..!

Nothing a load of semtex wouldn't cure though...
Get that man a box for speakers corner.

Pour yourself another, ye crafty fecker! :lol:

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:51 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
jo wrote:
Get that man a box for speakers corner.

Pour yourself another, ye crafty fecker! :lol:
Ooooh ta.

Image

Don't mind if I do...

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:29 pm
by joanne chapman
Lugh wrote:
jo wrote:
Get that man a box for speakers corner.

Pour yourself another, ye crafty fecker! :lol:
Ooooh ta.

Image

Don't mind if I do...
That's a small one Lugh.

All churches should be turned into party houses. All the people that want to pray can do so in the mornings when all the pissheads are in bed. They can pray for help in cleaning up.Most av got reasonable sound systems and stone or wood floors, making it easier to clear up.

And.. they all have car parks, unlike all the new pubs (old banks and police stations, like we have around here).

Lugh, you can put your new toothpaste tubes in the toilets.

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:46 pm
by Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
jo wrote:That's a small one Lugh.
I don't like to brag :P
jo wrote:All churches should be turned into party houses. All the people that want to pray can do so in the mornings when all the pissheads are in bed. They can pray for help in cleaning up.Most av got reasonable sound systems and stone or wood floors, making it easier to clear up.

And.. they all have car parks, unlike all the new pubs (old banks and police stations, like we have around here).
So, 'God Raves' it is then..?

HaPpYdAzE :lol:

Actually. God can do the cleaning up... We'll be too busy sobering up..! :P
jo wrote:Lugh, you can put your new toothpaste tubes in the toilets.
Odd way to keep enamel white. But, you're clearly an expert... I'll do it at once...

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:53 pm
by joanne chapman
LMFAO.. I'll try the toothpaste, you can too!! :lol: