A Press of Towels
There's washing to be done...
The day drags
from cloud to cloud
on a burden of numb
and listless.
Apathy runs riot
and there's washing to be done...
I have to grieve,
to bury the dead
to find a quiet place
and sleep off
the thoughts of inadequacy
and there's washing to be done.
Every image turns
in my head
to pictures of him
when I last saw him -
blue lipped, gasping,
trimmed beard and dull eyed
And there's washing to be done.
The day is insistent,
a bleak grey and white frame
rich in sighs
and this intolerable loss.
I gather up
an armful of towels.
A Press of Towels
Moderator: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
- Mike Daniels
- poet & writer
- Posts: 113
- Joined: Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:15 am
- Location: The English Queen's Arse, Tongue First 'n' Lovin' It ...
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- Catherine Edmunds
- artist, poet & writer
- Posts: 428
- Joined: Fri May 05, 2006 8:05 pm
- Location: north east england
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Superb title. Intriguing, before one's read the poem, and then afterwards, multi-layered in its meaning.
First stanza; I love the way you use 'numb' and 'listless' as if they were nouns. Very effective. 'numbness' and 'listlessness' wouldn't have worked nearly as well, mostly because 'numb' has an onomatopoeic quality that 'numbness' lacks, and 'listlessness' is simply too sibiliant; giving it a brilliance you don't need.
The refrain is highly effective, punctuating the poem with the prosaic chore.
The rest of the poem continues to build the picture, displaying your trademark skill in depicting melancholy in its many forms.
I like the way you've used colour in this poem. "blue lipped, gasping" and then later on, when the colour's all gone in: "a bleak grey and white frame".
Wonderful writing.
First stanza; I love the way you use 'numb' and 'listless' as if they were nouns. Very effective. 'numbness' and 'listlessness' wouldn't have worked nearly as well, mostly because 'numb' has an onomatopoeic quality that 'numbness' lacks, and 'listlessness' is simply too sibiliant; giving it a brilliance you don't need.
The refrain is highly effective, punctuating the poem with the prosaic chore.
The rest of the poem continues to build the picture, displaying your trademark skill in depicting melancholy in its many forms.
I like the way you've used colour in this poem. "blue lipped, gasping" and then later on, when the colour's all gone in: "a bleak grey and white frame".
Wonderful writing.
- Mike Daniels
- poet & writer
- Posts: 113
- Joined: Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:15 am
- Location: The English Queen's Arse, Tongue First 'n' Lovin' It ...
- Contact:
Hi Delph
an elderly uncle passed away. Last time I saw him, he couldn't move beyond the reach of his oxygen bottle and his lips had a permanently blue cast to them. This was written shortly before his funeral.
Its always satisfying when an important piece (I use important in the sense of personally important, rather than artistically important) works - and one seems to.
Thanks for commenting at length.
Mike
an elderly uncle passed away. Last time I saw him, he couldn't move beyond the reach of his oxygen bottle and his lips had a permanently blue cast to them. This was written shortly before his funeral.
Its always satisfying when an important piece (I use important in the sense of personally important, rather than artistically important) works - and one seems to.
Thanks for commenting at length.
Mike
- Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
- site owner, media producer & writer
- Posts: 2186
- Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:32 am
- Location: Derry, Ireland
- Contact:
Hi Mike. Like I've said elsewhere on Sensitize, you have the ability to create poetry that has a filmlike quality to it. I make no bones about this. I'm a fan of your work and will gladly buy any book of your poetry that's out there on the market ...
Simply wonderful...
Simply wonderful...
Louis P. Burns aka Lugh
Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
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Administrator, editor & owner of the Sensitize © online community of forums and domain for artists, e-poets, filmmakers, media/music producers and writers working through here. To buy the Kindle book of Illustrated Poetry, Sensitize © - Volume One / Poems that could be Films if they were Funded by myself with illustrations by Welsh filmmaker and graphic artist; Norris Nuvo click here for N. Ireland and UK sales. If purchasing in the U.S.A. or internationally then please click here.
ASIN B00L1RS0UI
My writing is not covered by Creative Commons policy and may not be republished without permission. All rights reserved. All Sensitize © Arts sponsorship donations and postal inquiries to:
Louis P. Burns
42 Farland Way
DERRY
N. Ireland.
BT48 0RS
Telephone (UK): 028 71219225
Click here to Join Sensitize © Arts via Facebook or to contact the site owner: Louis P. Burns aka Lugh with any forum hosting or site related inquiries.
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