This is an old joke I was told one night in The Dungloe Bar by a man from Liverpool. All typing and 'artwork' (snigger) is by me.
A man gets out of prison after serving an eight year sentence for armed robbery and the only thing on his mind is an ice cold pint of beer. So, he makes his way to the nearest bar and orders one. He's just raising the pint to his lips when another customer sits beside him at the bar and says;
'You're new here. Aren't you?'
The ex-con places the pint of beer back on the beer mat and says;
'Yeah.'
The customer says;
'I always spot the new faces. So, what is it that you do?'
The ex-con replies;
'Well, if you really must know. I've just been released from prison and have been looking forward to this beer for a very long time.'
The customer comes back at him with;
'So, if you were in jail. You must've learned a few things there. I read in a magazine that most prisoners apply themselves on the inside and when they come out of prison they're equipped for the world of honest work. Did you learn anything in jail?
The ex-con replies;
'Yeah. I studied art.'
The customer says;
'Ah. Then, you may be the very man I'm looking for to help me with something.'
The ex-con asks;
'What's that then?'
The customer says;
'Well. My son is always asking me to draw animals for him and to be honest with you, I'm not that good at drawing. He loves pigs. Would you show me how to draw a pig please?'
The ex-con agrees to show the man how to draw a pig and asks the barman for a few sheets of paper and a pen. He gets busy drawing while shielding it from the customer's sight with his hand.Then he presents it to the customer:
When the customer sees it he yells;
'Oh for Christ sakes! You call that a pig? I thought you said you studied art!'
'I did!'
Exclaims the ex-con.
That's the worst picture of a pig I have ever seen in my life!
Roars the customer.
'Why - What's wrong with it?
The ex-con defensively asks.
'It's too square for one thing! 'You need to make it look round!
So, the ex-con shields the paper with one hand and begins to draw another pig. Before he shows the finished picture to the customer, he takes a long sip of his beer. Then he says;
'Here ya go mate.'
