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[Lyudmilla Putin]

Vlad. You are alvays braggink. It is two bottles of wodka vich you have drunk. The third bottle vas zat pollonium you ver savink for your next wisit to London.

Now who has the egg on his face?

[Smug Bastard]

I haff just eaten 2 raw fish and drank 3 bottles of wodka.

That's nothing Vlad mate. I've just eaten every ounce of justice in the UK and hardly anyone batted an eyelid.

Ha!!!

How d'you like them for apples?

[Vladimir Putin]

Vlad. You are alvays braggink. It is two bottles of wodka vich you have drunk. The third bottle vas zat pollonium you ver savink for your next wisit to London.

Ah ha. zat explanze zeez boils breaking out on my face. You haff poisoned me!

Now who has the egg on his face?

I haff no eggs on my face. I haff explaned deez are boils!

I haff just eaten 2 raw fish and drank 3 bottles of wodka.

That's nothing Vlad mate. I've just eaten every ounce of justice in the UK and hardly anyone batted an eyelid.

Ha!!!

How d'you like them for apples?

Ah, my frend Tony. I see you are one step ahead of da possé as usual. Diss iz goot. Now, I request asylum in your corrupt nation because my vife hass poisoned me vith pollonium intended for the Chechnyan Ambassador. Danke.

[Louis P. Burns aka Lugh]

I'm convinced this thread became badly infected with Marmititus simply because we discussed it and Marmite on here. One of the symptoms of Marmititus is the momentary belief that we are figures from real political life. Perhaps Tone, Vlad and his Missus were manifestations of this dreadful condition that's triggered by that foul substance;- Marmite ..!