SENSITIZE ©

Hi all.
This is my chance to make a good first impression.....

........, hmmmm, ah well fuck first impressions. I'm a chef, writer and general pain in the arse,but i have ill feelings toward Georgie Bush, Anto Blair and the rest of those Mc Donalds eating war mongoring monkeys so I'm probably in the right place.
Anyhoo I'm going to start up a foodie column with my mucker Lugh to rid the world of all Mc Donalds type shite and get you all eating like humans.
You'll feel wonderful..

Trust me I'm an Irishman!

Seán Óg wrote:Hi all.
This is my chance to make a good first impression.....

........, hmmmm, ah well fuck first impressions.

I'm sold!!!

I'm a chef, writer and general pain in the arse,but i have ill feelings toward Georgie Bush, Anto Blair and the rest of those Mc Donalds eating war mongoring monkeys so I'm probably in the right place.

i suppose Lugh will prevent me from poaching you for my other haunt....

Anyhoo I'm going to start up a foodie column with my mucker Lugh to rid the world of all Mc Donalds type shite and get you all eating like humans.
You'll feel wonderful..

I'm looking forward to this!!!! I LIKE food. But I never buy McDogturds or ready meals....

Trust me I'm an Irishman!

And you were doing SO well up until then....

Glad to see you!!!!

psikottix wrote: i suppose Lugh will prevent me from poaching you for my other haunt....

Dear sweet lovin' light of Jazuz, Psi..!

How many times do I have to tell you? Poaching chefs is pointless. They go firm round the edges but stay soft in the middle. Oh, and they don't arf give ya dirty looks while they're cooking.

Nah. Frying chefs is much better. They go crispy, keep their flavour and taste and are wicked with pickles or salad...

Seán, Psi will no doubt try and entice you with promises of Tony Blair's head on a stick by summer. I still reckon it won't come to fruition until some time around October...

Psi. Poach all you like, but if you get a dicky tummy, it's your own fault...

Poaching chefs..!

Cuh..!

Ridiculous idea ...

I blame the government meself (sniff)...

Prologue

Bearsizedfeet is here.
Those who know me can cheer, or jeer.
To attempt the introduction in rhyme it's clear
That I am as mad as hatter. Oh dear!

Chapter One

First things first I have not written in a while
the muse I assume will be hidden deep inside.
Iambic pentameter I shall use as my style
it's easier to control, tested and tried.

I have edited two writers guilds in the past,
Dim and distant memories I hasten to add.
So, I am rusty at this "thing" damn and blast,
Forgive my early attempts and I would be quite glad.

I don't know what kind of stuff I will write,
To make it of interest would be a good start.
I will try not to write complete dribble and shite,
but be honest, uplifting and straight from the heart.

So as I bring to an end my opening prose,
I thank you all for reading the intro of me.
And finally this question to you all I shall pose,
What's the difference between a Bush and a tree?

Cheers

BSF

Nice intro Bear. Welcome aboard mate ...

Bearsizedfeet wrote:Prologue

What's the difference between a Bush and a tree?

Wait. I know this one. Ummm, lemmi see. Oh yeah.

A tree grows out of the ground, releases oxygen into our world, looks cool and is great for climbing. It's made of wood (so might be a witch), environmentalists love them and they make excellent pets. Whereas a bush is a spokeperson for the new world order on a par with the Nazi's. Is intellectually challenged (or stupid to the point of ridiculous), greedy with other people's homelands and guilty of a back-catlogue of war crimes...

I knew the question was too easy

Why do I keep reading that prologue from BSF as a rap?

Is there something he hasn't told us?

Bearsizedfeet wrote:I knew the question was too easy

No, no. The question was tough. It's just that I'm a feckin' genius or a guinness or one of them 'g' words that boffins get called (was gonna say guinea pig but feared Psi might cook me).

psikottix wrote:Why do I keep reading that prologue from BSF as a rap?

Is there something he hasn't told us?

Well, he hasn't said anything about it to me mate and you'd be the first to know. I'd run on here screaming:

'Psiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!!! Bear's A Rapper...!!!'

I'd be really interested in reading any feedback Danimik and Delph may have on the poem. I like it meself ...

Yep, I'm the real slim Shady.

Bearsizedfeet wrote:Yep, I'm the real slim Shady.

Yeah?

What are the hours and is the pay good ..?

No, I'm the real Slim Shady. Or is that Spartacus? Whatever. If that's iambic pentameter then I'm a rapper.

Welcome

delph_ambi wrote:No, I'm the real Slim Shady. Or is that Spartacus? Whatever. If that's iambic pentameter then I'm a rapper.

Welcome

I know it wasn't iambic pentameter.

But thanks for the welcome.

delph_ambi wrote:f that's iambic pentameter then I'm a rapper.

I can't even SPELL iconic parameter. Erm, Ionic perambulator. Ironic peanuttier? Idiotic pro-amateur. DAMMIT!!!!!

If i cuddle a chocolate, will i be a wrapper?





/gets coat...runs

psikottix wrote:
If i cuddle a chocolate, will i be a wrapper

If you cuddle 'a chocolate' you'll make all the others jealous. Hug a toffee. They love it ...