A Unix poem

[spacecadet]

For all you true machine heads........

A Unix poem
by Dave Osborne (space-cadet-dave@lycos.com)

I sit here every bleedin' day
with users calling me
I ask them what their problems are
and for their full system id
I finger and I touch them
but it's plain to see
i should really kill minus nine
their entire process tree.

The b*stards phone and phone and phone
and will never let me be
They'll cat all of my brainstem
I should grep them to a tree
and pipe them to another place
and shell them in the C
I wish they'd P.S minus E.F off
and stop bugging me.

[spacecadet]

And this operating system is so obscure it's simply showing off.......

An MPE-iX poem (release 5+ with MPEX/Rego suites loaded)
by Dave Osborne (space-cadet-dave@lycos.com)

The operator swung around
and this he said to me
"Your nothing but a SHOWF
if you know M.P.E.
You talk a load of COBOL-LOCKS
You're head is all SHOWFREE"
You're RINs and PINs are stacking up
and you're SOFT is all V.E."

"You LISTF the faults of others
and your spine is all DISCFREE
You're SESSION LIMITS all screwed up
so why're you bothering me?
I'll BUILDF you a contiguous space
in your brains chemistry.
I'll Eff-one-eff-zero your DEV 10
if you don't leave me be."

[Louis P. Burns aka Lugh]

Dave maaaaaan... These are brilliant. Would be feckin' wicked if they were performed through a vocoder or other voice sampler and then put out as a Stephen Hawking-like mp3, like Fitter Happier by Radiohead on the OK Computer album from 1997...

Bloody good writing dude. I am mega-impressed ...

Of course, there's a bit of me that's beginning to think you might be a partial android. It's the Marmite. Gives it away everytime ...