SENSITIZE ©

Many thanks to Mike Daniels for introducing me to this beautiful form. It's one of the old Welsh odes, and if you google you'll no doubt find them all, but this one is probably the easiest: a sestet stanza having lines with counts of eight, eight, five, five, three and three syllables respectively. The two 2 syllable lines may be written as one 6 syllable line if desired. The rhyme scheme is aabbba. A diagram of one stanza would therefore look like this:
xxxxxxxa
xxxxxxxa
xxxxb
xxxxb
xxb
xxa

Here's my first (and I'm sure it won't be the last) attempt at the form:

dusk

trees of rusty timber take leave
while wooden sheep wander this eve
by willows, some sleep
counting forests deep
waters weep
whispers weave

raven flies by on wings of night
wisps of mist rising caught in flight
sink now, drink with eyes
embrowned in disguise
as fear dies
in faint light

running together, follow me
past reeds rustling, red chestnut tree
follow past knowing
fleet river flowing
bestowing
dusk on thee

Thanks for this Delph and Mike.

Cool poem ...

I'll try and write one tonight.

Nice one ...

Not quite as satanic as sestinas. This one looks viable and has possibilities of great beauty. A Welsh form you say? I feel another poem about Tonypandee coming on...... (did I ever post the last one here?)

delph_ambi wrote:Many thanks to Mike Daniels for introducing me to this beautiful form. It's one of the old Welsh odes, and if you google you'll no doubt find them all, but this one is probably the easiest: a sestet stanza having lines with counts of eight, eight, five, five, three and three syllables respectively. The two 2 syllable lines may be written as one 6 syllable line if desired. The rhyme scheme is aabbba. A diagram of one stanza would therefore look like this:
xxxxxxxa
xxxxxxxa
xxxxb
xxxxb
xxb
xxa

Sorry Delph. I'm confused by this. I have underlined where you say "two 2 syllable lines" because I don't see these in the example. Shouldn't that be 'two 3 syllable lines'?

Then again, I didn't get much sleep lastnight and may not be reading your guidelines for this form correctly...

I think that should read as the two lines of three syllables can be written as one line of six syllables...as you suggest...

Some of these celtic forms are hold real terrors for me. I keep trying to write them and get nowhere - well nowhere that I'm prepared to go public with as yet.

(The Irish ones in particular are little beasts.)

Mike

oops - yes - sorry - typo.

I've just written another of these. A bit different -- more of a ballad. It's the result of a challenge on another site to write something inspired by the phrase: "South of the Border". Here it is, hot off the press.


South of the border

South of the border lies a land
where locusts fly over white sand.
With never a care
I’ll meet my love there
with my hand
ringless, bare.

South of the border we’ll embrace
where the sun baked rocks leave no trace
of the lies we told
in the grey north cold
of a place
where there’s gold.

South of the border, free at last
no need for wealth – that’s in the past.
The gemstones we find
are all in the mind.
(Hold me fast
limbs entwined.)

South of the border there are fires
that burn out these heady desires
as we turn to dust
no more love or trust
just twin pyres
to our lust.

South of the border I will die
dreaming of northlands, asking why
I left that grey land
no ring on my hand
for a lie
and white sand.

By the way, the 'Dusk' one that started it all off has found a publisher (yippee!) Earlyworks Press will be popping it in an anthology in the new year.

delph_ambi wrote:By the way, the 'Dusk' one that started it all off has found a publisher (yippee!) Earlyworks Press will be popping it in an anthology in the new year.

Very cool ...