CLEVER LITTLE DOG...
A butcher is laying out trays of meat on his display shelves one morning when a little Jack Russell dog comes walking into the store with a piece of paper and a money bag hanging out of its' mouth.
The butcher smiles. He leans forward and prizes the note and bag from the dog. He reads the note which says;
"This is Barney my dog. Please give him £5.00's worth of best quality back bacon".
The butcher, seeing an opportunity to make some quick and easy cash, tries to give the dog cheap streaky bacon instead. The dog growls and snarls. The butcher promptly replaces the meat with best quality back bacon. The dog turns and walks out of the store with the bag of meat hanging from its' jaw. The butcher thinks to himself;
'Now that's one clever little dog'...
The next morning the dog walks back into the store with another note and money bag. The butcher reaches and reads the note which says;
"Please give Barney £5.00's worth of chicken breast fillets"...
The butcher decides to test the dog and gives it turkey breast meat instead. The dog growls and snarls. The butcher is impressed and quickly changes the turkey for chicken. The dog walks out of the store wagging its' tail. Again, the butcher thinks;
The next morning Barney the dog is back in the store and has another money bag and note hanging from his lips. The butcher smiles, reaches down and takes the the lot. He reads the note which says;
"Please give Barney £5.00's worth of Sirloin steak"...
More from curiosity than anything else the butcher tries to give the dog low quality frying steak instead. The dog growls and snarls so the butcher quickly changes the meat for Sirloin. The dog turns and walks out of the store. The butcher grabs his coat and locks the shop up.
He follows the dog across town through a park and past a pond to a block of apartments. The dog walks into an elevator and the butcher gets in as well. He looks down at the dog and smiles. Pretty soon the elevator gets to the 12th floor and the dogs trots out. It runs down the hall and the butcher watches as it scratches at a front door. The door opens and a big, fat, hairy arm appears, grabs the dog by the throat and swings it around in the air. Then it punches the dog so hard it flies across the hall and slides down the opposite wall.
The butcher is furious and runs down the hallway yelling;
"Hey ya bastard..! Leave that poor dog alone..! He's very clever"..!
He comes face to face with the owner of the dog who looks confused and shouts;
The butcher shouts;
"Yeah. Clever little dog that dog"..!
The owner roars back;
"Clever my feckin' arse..! That's the third time this week he's forgotten his keys"..!